By Dr. Robert Pendergrast
Pediatrician
MCG Children’s Medical Center 

It’s that time of year again, when perfect strangers are smiling at you and saying “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays!” But what if you are not feeling merry? For many people, the added stress of holiday office parties, gift buying, children’s needs, and worry about how to pay for it all may  add just another layer of guilt if you can’t manufacture that “happy holiday” feeling. Demands of work, home and school don’t go away and when you add the holidays to the mix, an already busy schedule can feel overwhelming.

The American Psychological Association recommends the first step in coping with holiday stress is to pay attention to exactly what is causing it. Ask yourself what holiday events or situations add stress.

Here are some suggestions for parents to keep in mind this holiday season. Attempt only one or two of these ideas since trying to change too many behaviors at once can also be too stressful:

1. Keep to a ‘normal routine’ as much as possible. If you normally have a “family night” try to keep to it.
2. Set expectations. Talk to your kids about expectations for gifts and holiday activities. Be open and honest with your children if money is an issue. Depending on your child’s age, the holidays can be a great time to
   teach your child about the value of money and responsible spending. Be realistic by taking small concrete steps to deal with holiday tasks instead of setting goals that are too far reaching for a busy time.
3. Keep things in perspective. Teach your child to keep things in perspective, including what type and the number of gifts they receive. Try to consider stressful situations in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective by avoiding blowing events out of proportion. 
4. Make connections. Volunteer at a local charity with your children. This is a great way to connect with others, assist others in need and teach your child about the value of helping others. Also make connections with family and friends that support and care about you. This will help alleviate stress.
5. Take care of yourself and your children. Make sure your little ones stick to a regular bedtime. Children aren’t the only ones that will benefit from a good night’s sleep. Consider cutting back on your child’s TV time. This will help them be more active and get them away from all those advertisements! Also don’t forget to pay attention to your own needs and feelings during this season. Make time for activities you and your children find fun and relaxing. Spend time with your children doing something they enjoy: play a board game, read a book or go to the park.
6. Reconnect to your values. No matter what your faith tradition, the holiday season is a reminder of what is good in human beings and our highest values: peace and unconditional love. So take time this season to make peace with someone, say “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you.” See yourself, your service and your time as the gift you will give someone in your family without expecting anything in return. Do something really nice for someone who “doesn’t deserve it.” You may be surprised at what might happen. 

Here are some general suggestions for families who want to keep stress to a minimum this holiday:

• Don’t over schedule yourself during the holidays. You don’t have to attend every party or event. It’s really OK to say no sometimes.
• Don’t drink or eat to excess. You’ll feel better about yourself and will treat others better as a result.
• Set your expectations at a reasonable level. Don’t offer to cook the entire holiday meal if you hate being in the kitchen.
• Create simple family traditions that you all can enjoy year to year.

Here’s hoping you and your family enjoy a wonderful, stress-free holiday season!

MCG Health System is composed of three organizations - MCG Health, Inc. and the clinical services offered by the faculty of the Medical College of Georgia and the members of the MCG Physicians Practice Group. MCG Health, Inc. is a not-for-profit corporation operating the MCG Medical Center, MCG Children’s Medical Center, the MCG Sports Medicine Center, MCG Ambulatory Care Center, the Georgia Radiation Therapy Center and related clinical facilities and services. MCG Health, Inc. was formed to support the research and education mission of the Medical College of Georgia, and to build the economic growth of the CSRA, the state of Georgia and the Southeast by providing an environment for delivering the highest level of primary and specialty health care. For more information, please visit www.MCGHealth.org.